Hello. It's me. Mabel.

Petrie is such an a-hole sometimes.

Just today I was trying to get The Girl's attention (I LOVE THE GIRL). Petrie thought it would be a good idea to try to communicate with The Girl at the SAME TIME AS ME.

It was not a good idea. THE GIRL IS MINE I said to my brother Petrie. F__K OFF. And then I bit him on his back leg, after I threw him on the ground and slapped him on his big fat head.

THE. GIRL. IS. MINE.

MINE.

Mabel

Okay hi. Some things have happened (this is PETE Petrie Petrie I AM PETRjjbbjk

Okay hi. Hi guys. Okay. So I got really itchy.

That sucked.

My Mom said I had fleas. She was right. Who cares? I just don't want to be so itchy for crying out loud. It sucks!!

So my Mom and Trent (jerk) put something on me, on the back on my (giant) head. "What is that back there?" I thought. "Surely he can't lick the back of his head!" my people thought. Well, the flea medication ran down my (giant) shoulders and then I could find out what it was, by licking it. THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

It tasted like the flames of one thousand fires, combined with my bum after I just pooped. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That's what I said. And running is what I did. ANd also drooling. A LOT of drooling.

Anyway, then I forgot that I did that. Hmmm...something is running down the back of my neck. I wonder what it is? So I licked it, and AHHHHHH!!!!!! That's what I said (again). And the running. And the drooling (still lots).

Anyway, then I forgot that I did that. Hmmm...something is on the back on my neck. I wonder what it is? So I licked it. F__K!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said that. ANd some other words too. The ones I save for the vet. Running. Drooling.

Anyway, then I forgot that I did that. Something is on me. I wonder what it is? Let me just give it a li...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! RUN!!!! Motherfu**er what the hell I must run why am I drooling so much??

Then I didn't do it anymore. Because I fell asleep. No more fleas! Yay!

Love, Pete!

Hi this is PETE!!! (Petrie)

I destroyed my box. It was shredded all over the living room...my Mum said it looked like a demon had gotten trapped in it and tried to claw its way out. Ha ha. So funny Mummy, comparing me to a demon.

Anyway, Mummy PUT MY BOX IN THE RECYCLING BIN. I had a great deal to say about this. And all I got was some pats on my head. Then Mummy and that Mean Dude left me home alone for one whole hour!!!! With Mabel though. Mabel is always here.

When they came home...THEY BROUGHT ME A NEW BOX!

I'm going to go get in it right now. Maybe I'll even take some pictures.

Love,
Pete (Petrie) !!!

Well, it's been a while. This is Mabel. Mostly I have been running around with boundless, vixen-like energy, interspersed with small bouts of sleeping. The Girl and Trent went away for Xmas, as usual, and they left us here with some people occaaaaaasionally stopping in (alright alright every day) to feed us and stuff. It wasn't too bad, but I really missed The Girl. I love The Girl, she's THE BEST. When she came home I was scared that maybe she would leave again in the night, so I kept going into the bedroom while she was sleeping to make sure she wasn't going anywhere. "Hi The Girl!!!", I would say to her (at 3am and 4 and 5 and 5:15 and 6 too). I'm so happy you are home! I love you GIRL!!!! Yay!!! Let's sing a song or something.

Time for a nap!
xo Mabel

Hello this is Pete again!

I ruined my box. I was playing a game late at night that involved Mabel, my box, and my water bowl. When Mummy and Meanie got up, they threw the box in the recycling bin. Why did they do this!!!??? They said I ruined my box.

I spilled water all over my box and it got soggy. But so what? I could still get in it.

I want a new box, but one hasn't come yet.

I am sick of my food. It sucks. But I eat it anyway.

Anyway, about that box. So the game that I would normally play in my box would go like this (people think I am such a dummy, but all games have rules, even dummies know that): I hide in the box. Someone walks by the box. I jump out of the box and try to kill the person who is walking by, by grabbing them by the legs. The person screams and I retreat back into the box, as if it never happened.

Once Mabel tried to get in my box and I got really mad at her. Go get your own box MABEL!!!!

Mabel helped me though. She got my soggy old box out of the recyling bin the other night, and I got back in it. Boy were Mummy and Meany surprised!!! But not that surprised, because Mabel has been able to do things like this forever.

Ayway I have to go lie down now.
xoxox love PeTe

Hi this is PETE.

Some things have happened. Small people came to live with us. I love small people. They are easier to cuddle with, as I am also small. Actually, I'm not that small. Anyways Mabel does not like small people, or any people really besides "The Girl" and a few other people.

I have been giving Mabel a lot of baths, as she likes. But sometimes she doesn't want me to and she gets really quite angry with me and then we wrestle. I win (she wins okay).

A new friend came to visit. I do not know his name but he is grey and white and at first he scared me so I got big and puffy and then I ripped the screen in the door so I could go out and get him. People asked me why I did this. Did you want to fight with your new friend? No, he's my friend. Did you want to protect your people? No, I don't give a shit about that. Did you want to say hello? Yes, I suppose that was it. But I don't really know (anything).

I have also been playing in my box quite a bit.

Hmmm...the other day I got a poop stuck in my bum. This is not such a big deal. When this happens I drag my bum along the floor to wipe it off. Mean Guy was thinking this was actually a really big deal though.

Okay bye I love you all ttyl
PETRIe petrie

Hi this is Mabel.

Today The Girl went outside to the other world where the vet and Pete's best friend Orange and birds and everything else is. A cop stopped her. He asked her if she had noticed a gigantic orange bulldozer that had been parked around the corner for weeks. Basically, someone stole it. Yes, someone stole the bulldozer.

I would just like to say that someday I would like to steal a bulldozer. Actually, I can't think of anything better than that. I mean, I could really f--k some serious s--t up if I had a bulldozer.

"If cats were any bigger, they would probably be illegal."
-Douglas Copland, Life After God

xo