Kill Something and Eat It

2011-12-21T23:07:00.003-05:00

Hello. It's me. Mabel.

Petrie is such an a-hole sometimes.

Just today I was trying to get The Girl's attention (I LOVE THE GIRL). Petrie thought it would be a good idea to try to communicate with The Girl at the SAME TIME AS ME.

It was not a good idea. THE GIRL IS MINE I said to my brother Petrie. F__K OFF. And then I bit him on his back leg, after I threw him on the ground and slapped him on his big fat head.

THE. GIRL. IS. MINE.

MINE.

Mabel

2011-11-04T14:38:00.002-04:00

Okay hi. Some things have happened (this is PETE Petrie Petrie I AM PETRjjbbjk

Okay hi. Hi guys. Okay. So I got really itchy.

That sucked.

My Mom said I had fleas. She was right. Who cares? I just don't want to be so itchy for crying out loud. It sucks!!

So my Mom and Trent (jerk) put something on me, on the back on my (giant) head. "What is that back there?" I thought. "Surely he can't lick the back of his head!" my people thought. Well, the flea medication ran down my (giant) shoulders and then I could find out what it was, by licking it. THAT WAS A MISTAKE.

It tasted like the flames of one thousand fires, combined with my bum after I just pooped. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! That's what I said. And running is what I did. ANd also drooling. A LOT of drooling.

Anyway, then I forgot that I did that. Hmmm...something is running down the back of my neck. I wonder what it is? So I licked it, and AHHHHHH!!!!!! That's what I said (again). And the running. And the drooling (still lots).

Anyway, then I forgot that I did that. Hmmm...something is on the back on my neck. I wonder what it is? So I licked it. F__K!!!!!!!!!!!!! I said that. ANd some other words too. The ones I save for the vet. Running. Drooling.

Anyway, then I forgot that I did that. Something is on me. I wonder what it is? Let me just give it a li...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! RUN!!!! Motherfu**er what the hell I must run why am I drooling so much??

Then I didn't do it anymore. Because I fell asleep. No more fleas! Yay!

Love, Pete!

2011-03-29T10:52:00.002-04:00

Hi this is PETE!!! (Petrie)

I destroyed my box. It was shredded all over the living room...my Mum said it looked like a demon had gotten trapped in it and tried to claw its way out. Ha ha. So funny Mummy, comparing me to a demon.

Anyway, Mummy PUT MY BOX IN THE RECYCLING BIN. I had a great deal to say about this. And all I got was some pats on my head. Then Mummy and that Mean Dude left me home alone for one whole hour!!!! With Mabel though. Mabel is always here.

When they came home...THEY BROUGHT ME A NEW BOX!

I'm going to go get in it right now. Maybe I'll even take some pictures.

Love,
Pete (Petrie) !!!

2011-01-16T12:40:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been a while. This is Mabel. Mostly I have been running around with boundless, vixen-like energy, interspersed with small bouts of sleeping. The Girl and Trent went away for Xmas, as usual, and they left us here with some people occaaaaaasionally stopping in (alright alright every day) to feed us and stuff. It wasn't too bad, but I really missed The Girl. I love The Girl, she's THE BEST. When she came home I was scared that maybe she would leave again in the night, so I kept going into the bedroom while she was sleeping to make sure she wasn't going anywhere. "Hi The Girl!!!", I would say to her (at 3am and 4 and 5 and 5:15 and 6 too). I'm so happy you are home! I love you GIRL!!!! Yay!!! Let's sing a song or something.

Time for a nap!
xo Mabel

2010-11-17T10:25:00.002-05:00

Hello this is Pete again!

I ruined my box. I was playing a game late at night that involved Mabel, my box, and my water bowl. When Mummy and Meanie got up, they threw the box in the recycling bin. Why did they do this!!!??? They said I ruined my box.

I spilled water all over my box and it got soggy. But so what? I could still get in it.

I want a new box, but one hasn't come yet.

I am sick of my food. It sucks. But I eat it anyway.

Anyway, about that box. So the game that I would normally play in my box would go like this (people think I am such a dummy, but all games have rules, even dummies know that): I hide in the box. Someone walks by the box. I jump out of the box and try to kill the person who is walking by, by grabbing them by the legs. The person screams and I retreat back into the box, as if it never happened.

Once Mabel tried to get in my box and I got really mad at her. Go get your own box MABEL!!!!

Mabel helped me though. She got my soggy old box out of the recyling bin the other night, and I got back in it. Boy were Mummy and Meany surprised!!! But not that surprised, because Mabel has been able to do things like this forever.

Ayway I have to go lie down now.
xoxox love PeTe

2010-09-28T16:27:00.002-04:00

Hi this is PETE.

Some things have happened. Small people came to live with us. I love small people. They are easier to cuddle with, as I am also small. Actually, I'm not that small. Anyways Mabel does not like small people, or any people really besides "The Girl" and a few other people.

I have been giving Mabel a lot of baths, as she likes. But sometimes she doesn't want me to and she gets really quite angry with me and then we wrestle. I win (she wins okay).

A new friend came to visit. I do not know his name but he is grey and white and at first he scared me so I got big and puffy and then I ripped the screen in the door so I could go out and get him. People asked me why I did this. Did you want to fight with your new friend? No, he's my friend. Did you want to protect your people? No, I don't give a shit about that. Did you want to say hello? Yes, I suppose that was it. But I don't really know (anything).

I have also been playing in my box quite a bit.

Hmmm...the other day I got a poop stuck in my bum. This is not such a big deal. When this happens I drag my bum along the floor to wipe it off. Mean Guy was thinking this was actually a really big deal though.

Okay bye I love you all ttyl
PETRIe petrie

2010-06-17T20:59:00.002-04:00

Hi this is Mabel.

Today The Girl went outside to the other world where the vet and Pete's best friend Orange and birds and everything else is. A cop stopped her. He asked her if she had noticed a gigantic orange bulldozer that had been parked around the corner for weeks. Basically, someone stole it. Yes, someone stole the bulldozer.

I would just like to say that someday I would like to steal a bulldozer. Actually, I can't think of anything better than that. I mean, I could really f--k some serious s--t up if I had a bulldozer.

"If cats were any bigger, they would probably be illegal."
-Douglas Copland, Life After God

xo

2010-05-12T22:41:00.004-04:00

Hi this is us (Pete and Mabel)!

Recent work:

I (Pete) just ate a centipede in the kitchen.
I (Pete) ate 3 pages of a book that does not belong to my people (but don't worry, I didn't really eat them I just chewed them). I had to dig it out of the Mean Guy's satchel in the middle of the night.
I (Pete) attempted to eat a plastic bag of cardamon. This could have been an incredibly bad situation, but my people saved me from myself.
I (Mabel) chewed the f__k out of a bag of raw sugar. But don't worry, I didn't actually injest anything.

If anyone is wondering, my (Pete's) teeth are fine. This is not why I chew things. The VET (SOB) even said so. I chew to D E S T R O Y.

Love from,
Petrie and Mabel (f--k you) xoxoxox

2010-05-04T14:28:00.002-04:00

Hi I am...PETE!

So there was this lamp that my people brought home from IKEA a few months ago. It was basically a glass globe that sat on my Mummy's dresser. WELL. I broke it. Here's how you can do this: push it off the dresser, slowly, and then...SMASH!!! GLASS EVERYWHERE!!! Under the bed!!! All over the floor!!!! Total lamp smashing ANARCHY!!!

Love,
Petrie
xoxoxox

2010-04-19T09:57:00.003-04:00

Hello, this is Mabel.

Saturday morning was not good. I knew something was up because after breakfast The Girl does not usually go rooting around in the back of the closet.... "This can only mean one thing", I thought (VET). So I ran away and hid under the bed.

The Girl emerged, empty handed (so I thought). I came out of hiding to finish my breakfast and perhaps sit on the window ledge to see what I could see, when suddenly I sensed that perhaps something was not right after all. I ran and hid under the bed again.

Then it began. Trent came and fished me out. I went limp in his arms. "No Trent NO please no what have I ever done to you?" Before I knew it, I was being placed inside the carrying cage. It was sitting on the kitchen counter. The Girl was in on it too.

This carrying cage is a lot better than that old CAGE torture chamber that I used to share with my brother. This new cage had The Girl's heartbeat in it. Yes, I seemed to be strapped on to The Girl like some sort of backpack. Also, it is very tiny (like me) so I felt quite secure. Until we got outside.

It was cold and windy and smelly and there were the noises again. And I knew where we were going (to see the torture guy) and I was right. And when I came back home I got into a fight with my brother Petrie because I smelled like the VET.

Do not go to the VET.

Do not go.

DO. NOT.

Mabel!

2010-04-15T09:24:00.003-04:00

Hi this is PETE.

(this is pete)

Okay something has happened.

Yesterday afternoon, my sister Mabel and I were having a sunny nap on the freshly washed sheets (not allowed to do that). Suddenly, there was a light tapping on the window, right by the bed where we were sleeping. I looked, and there were 4 pairs of tiny eyes looking at me and my sister. My Mummy came into the room to see what was going on. She smiled and laughed and went to open the window, but then then the 4 small Mexican children that were trying to get my attention stood up and ran away shreiking, "WE SAW THE KITTY WE SAW THE KITTY!!!!". Ladies and gentlemen, I AM THE KITTY. I know this because Mabel my sister ran away when she saw them. It can only be me. Mabel eats children for breakfast. But children and everyone else is my best friends.

Someone wrote a poem about me. It goes like this:

I likes to chew on the blinds
I likes to eat whatever I finds
My favourite thing is bugs to eat
I am smelly, and my name is...PETE!

All of these things are true.

BYE bye I love you
PeTe

Double Entry

2010-04-07T13:59:00.002-04:00

Big News.

It's OVER with that couch.

(I puked on it on Saturday night, as The Girl and Trent were sleeping in their bed!! Ha HA!)

I spent most of the weekend ripping the stuffing out of the sides and chasing little bits of it around the apartment floor.

Pictures, I promise I will show you pictures.

Okay that's all.
Mabel

Okay some things have happened. I broke a glass.

BLAA i mean BALL

PetE xoxoxo

2010-03-30T14:51:00.001-04:00

Hi.

I turned 4 this month. So did my sister Mabel. We are 4 yay!

Ball.

What else..? Hmmm.

Some observations:
Sometimes it is windows closed and no fresh air and white outside and dark a lot and that jerk face and Mummy wear lots of clothes. Sometimes it is windows open and fresh but cool air and blue sky and sunshine. That last thing that I just said is starting to happen again. I don't know why Mummy and that smelly loser don't make it happen more.

I went outside on the porch. It smells pretty sweet out there.

My bff ORANGE came to visit. I had to rip the screen out of the door to say a proper hello. I love/hate ORANGE.

I have been working on some new hair styles for my sister Mabel. Maybe I will get Mummy to post some pictures.

Birds.

Ball.

Pete
(ball)

2010-01-12T14:10:00.000-05:00

Okay some things have happened.

Nothing has happened.

I mostly need to go upstairs to visit. Mommy DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THIS EVEN THOUGH I TELL HER FOR SEVERAL HOURS A DAY BY STANDING BY THE DOOR AND TELLING HER.

She ignores me.

She seems quite willing to play BALL with me and play with me while I am in my BOX and give me pats.

This morning I sat on her lap in the sunny kitchen, and I sang a song.

There are 4 girls upstairs and I LOVE THEM and I like their space. It smells great.

I NEED TO GO UP.

xoxox
Pete

2010-01-10T22:50:00.000-05:00

Recent work:

Trent's new piece of (unfinished) art.

The bedsheet.

I put a hole in a duvet.

Still working on that couch.

Shit streaks on the living room floor (Petrie's work, not mine).

I pissed in the laundry basket while the Girl and Trent went away for Christmas and left someone else to serve me.

See if they'll try that again.

Mabel

2009-10-02T14:49:00.001-04:00

I love you LOVE Petrie.

Hello.

I love you I am Pete.

Okay some things have happened.

I love you (YOU).

So I was supposed to go have my picture taken (my eyebrows are back). But before that happened I went to THE VET (HATE). He stuck some things in me and looked at my teeth and told me not to swear at him (I told him to F__K OFF and DIE) and he also listened to my heart. He listened for a long time. Then he told my Mommy that I have a heart murmur (OF COURSE I DO) but he wasn't sure if it was just because I was a liiiiiitle upset because I was at THE VET or if I really have one. These were the options:

1. I was just really stressed out (HELLO) and we could just go with that and do nothing (HELLO).
2. I could have a blood test to determine if there is some underlying problem/disease that could be causing it (NO THANK YOU).
3. I could have a $600.00 ultra sound of my tiny kitten heart (which is really and truly the only way to determine if I do have a murmur) (FORGET ABOUT IT).

Mommy and Trent chose option one, yay!!

If I had the ultra sound and it was determined that I do have a murmur, Mommy and Trent could give me pills (NO) that would slow down the process of my heart dying and I would live a normal length of life.

But they do not have $600.00 to spend on an ultra sound, and so maybe I will DIE!!!!!

Anyways, I'm not going to have that career after all. If I have a murmuring heart, I must not be excited or stressed out.

Some other things happened.

Mabel barfed up her breakfast and I ate it.

LOVE
I LOVE YOU
PETRiE

2009-07-13T15:21:00.000-04:00

I AM PETRIE.

Okay some things have happened: my eyebrows fell out. I was allergic to my food. It didn't hurt, but some people were going to take pictures of me and hang out with me and pay extreme amounts of attention to me and now Mommy says that can't happen until my eyebrows grow back in. (They're actually coming in quite nicely!)

Another thing happened and that thing is that I killed a mouse. It was under the fridge and Mommy didn't believe me when I told her it was there but it WAS there and I KILLED IT and then I ATE IT and that's WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT bitches.

Trent tried to take it away from me and I said my meanest words to him which are these words: BACK OFF YOU SICK FREAK THIS IS MY MOUSE AND IF YOU TOUCH ME OR TRY TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I EAT IT AND DRINK IT'S BLOOD I WILL F__K YOU UP HARD YOU S.O.B.

Love,

Petrie

2009-06-07T12:13:00.000-04:00

Hello Pete here!

Okay some things have happened. I made some new friends. They are four girls who live upstairs. I love them and they (of course) love me. I love them more than my Mommy sometimes. And definitely more than Trent. He sucks. ANYWAYS the other day Mommy and Trent decided I should start working ---- there is a mouse problem upstairs that they figured I could solve. So they sent me up to live with the four girls I love (more than them sometimes but I love everyone I love them I love YOU I am Petrie) and anyways I didn't want to catch mice. I love this one girl the most named Terese so I just hung out on her bed. I also looked out the window because the view is very good up there. And then I came home.

I am not very good at catching mice because I don't care. All of this being said, I might be getting an agent. Apparently I have "grown up into a very handsome" and "unique" and "quite tall cat". If this means that I can hang out with more people and more people will be my friend and pay attention to me, I will do it. When people call my name I will come and see them because I really love them. Also, I will do whatever they tell me because I like treats and I love them. I "has the right tempermant to do this sort of work" and I might be able to "make some money" whatever that is. Okay bye bye I love you.

Love Pete

(PETE)

Love

2009-05-06T08:30:00.000-04:00

Hi this is Pete!

Okay some things have happened. I saw a tiny person. It was shrieking and screaming, probably because it was mad that it was so tiny. It smelled funny and everyone paid lots of attention to it. A man carried it around. I wondered what made it shrink and shriek like that and make such erratic movements. Mabel said. "OH MY GOD WHAT THAT HELL IS THAT?!" and ran away and hid until the people took it away. It came with lots of fun toys, so I played with them and the tiny person wasn't so bad after all. It wanted to be my friend and I am always looking for new friends (and new toys) so I was happy.

Okay some things have happened. I got in a fight with my best friend, Orange Friend. My Mom got mad because she thought I was going to rip the screen of the door. I wasn't trying to do that Mommy, I was just trying to rip Orange Friend's eyes out.

Love everyone,

Pete

2009-04-27T10:49:00.000-04:00

This is Mabel.

I am pleased to report that on Saturday afternoon while Trent and The Girl were gone, my brother and I stole The Girl's new bite plate off the kitchen table and hid it under the stove.

The Girl found it, though.

But anyways.

xoxo

2009-04-16T10:41:00.001-04:00

So it's been a while...this is Mabel.

Some things: The Girl thought it was a good idea to try to put me in the cage this morning, but I will tell you for a fact that IT WAS NOT a good idea. A few suspicious phone calls have been happening with words like "vaccinations" and "teeth" and so I sort of knew it was coming.

I made up a new move to avoid being put in it. The Girl was quite surprised and made some loud and unhappy noises.

"F!!k you The Girl!!!! I will cut you up bitch if you try that again!!!!" Is what I said to The Girl.

She got the message and I did not go in the cage.

Petrie went in though, but The Girl didn't move the cage around when he went in. She has it out for me.

I still love The Girl though.

This morning I woke her up by singing a song very loudly in her face (this was before I knew about her intentions of the cage). Then I stood on her face and kissed her on the eye.

I think maybe I will hide today...just in case.

Love,

Mabel

2008-12-07T18:10:00.000-05:00

Hello! Pete here!

In the early hours of Saturday morning, I broke a (very large) drinking glass.

Here's how you can do this:

It will be on something. You must Push It Off. SLOWLY.

The best part:

When the mean guy was cleaning it up he cut his finger and bled all over the place!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Your (best) friend,

Forever,

And ever,

Petrie

2008-12-02T15:16:00.000-05:00

PAY. ATTENTION. TO. ME. AT. ONCE.

Hello. This is Pete!

This morning Mommy got up and got in the shower. She closed the door. She was not paying attention to me so I broke a bunch of dishes.

I did it by kicking them off the top shelf of the shelving unit. I knew I would be in trouble so I was scared when Mommy got out of the shower. When she got out she said some very serious words to me that made me feel bad, but whatever. At least I got to destroy something.

Also, my sister Mabel and I got our licences in the mail today. Mommy says that now we can drive.

Love,

Petrie

2008-11-19T12:42:00.000-05:00

Hello. This is Mabel.

I love The Girl.

I love to wake her up in the morning by kissing her on the nose, and sometimes I like to lick her teeth.

The Girl does not like this...but I do!

In the mornings I like to stand on her left boob, and sometimes on her face, and always on her throat so she can't breathe.

The Girl does not like this...but I do!

I love you The Girl.

Mabel

In other news, I've almost finished off the couch. I'll let you know when I'm done.

Mabel

2008-10-31T10:16:00.000-04:00

Petrie is half raccoon.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!

mabel

2008-10-28T09:36:00.000-04:00

Hello! Petrie here!

Okay some things have happened:

I am really itchy. All over. I can't stop scratching.

My Mom and that Dude have been being very mean to me (but it's not their fault and I love them anyway). They keep trying to put this little orange thing down my throat. First they tricked me by giving me pats and happy sounds...the next thing I knew my head was tilted back and my mouth was wide open and I was swallowing the orange thing!! YOU GUYS TRICKED ME!!

I cannot ever scratch them or bite them so I decided my tactic would be escape. This worked quite well...for a while. But sometimes I don't even see it coming, and they are patting me so nice and giving me happy sounds and then all of a sudden, BLAM! I've swallowed the little orange thing! Why do they want me to have it? I'm not hungry! They won't stop doing it, and escape is not really working, so I came up with a new tactic: I WILL NOT SWALLOW.

This works 100%.

The other night I didn't try to escape, I let them tilt my head back, I even opened my mouth for them. My Mom put the little orange thing in my throat and dude man started doing that thing that makes me swallow. I WILL NOT SWALLOW, MEAN DUDE MAN GUY. HA HA! Swallow it Pete!, dude said. NO!! ESCAPE!! So I ran away and horked it up on the kitchen floor. HA HA! You can't make me take this little orange piece of shit you losers. So eff you.

LOVE,
Pete

2008-10-21T12:27:00.000-04:00

Hello.

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people came to visit me. They were nice to me and were very willing to pay lots of attention to me, as is required.

Hmmm...what else is new? It's been a while.

Brother Pete WENT TO THE VET!!! IIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He came back and he smelled and I basically hated him so much and I would not speak to him or look at him or lick him or be friends with him because he went to the vet and brought the smell back.

RUN!

Mabel

2008-04-24T11:56:00.000-04:00

Hello.

Last night there was a tiny fly in the kitchen that I f***ing massacred. Pretty awesome. But that's it and I'm so BORED again. I just tried to kill The Girl while she was sitting at the computer by jumping on her back and wrapping myself around her head and biting her neck. Her head won't come off though. Sigh...

Mabel

2008-04-18T12:42:00.000-04:00

I neeeed something to kill and eat. The plan of killing The Girl has backfired: I love The Girl FOR NOW. I have been relegated to pretending to kill and eat things that aren't even alive. Scraps of cardboard, a necklace belonging to The Girl, a twig that came in off someones shoe, dirt, brother Petrie.

I will take suggestions.

Brother Petrie is quite satisfied with killing the Snake. But I conquered Snake MONTHS ago.

GOTTA GO.

Mabel

2008-04-02T14:17:00.001-04:00

A small spider that was crawling up the wall! Brother Petrie didn't even know it was there! I am so awesome. I ate it in one lick, too.

It's getting warmer outside, so The Girl says. Yesterday she opened the windows for the first time in months so we could smell the fresh air and visit with Petrie's best friend, Orange Friend. He smells bad, but we like him okay.

Orange Friend is an old old cat. He tells us he has been around for over 10 years. He says the alley belongs to him, as well as the deck where his Person lives, but we can have it too if we want. This is very generous of Orange Friend, but he must know that we are not outdoor cats. Otherwise, we would come out and visit with him. He keeps asking us to.

Mabel

2008-03-25T21:45:00.000-04:00

Okay. This morning I killed a big bug-like creature and I DID NOT EAT THE LEGS, because I don't like legs, and brother Petrie wanted to eat the legs anyway.

Speaking of this...The Girl must go. I love her but she's in the way. Trent pays more attention to her than ME. I have a plan, which I have unsuccessfully attempted to execute (pun intended) the past two mornings. It goes like this: I have noticed that when climbing out of the loft in the morning, and walking in general, Trent and The Girl rely on their toes to balance, just like me and Pete. If The Girl didn't have her toes, she would not be able to balance on the ladder and she would fall to her death (!). My plan is to bite The Girl's toes off while she's asleep (so she doesn't notice), and then when she wakes up and goes to climb down the ladder...oops, The Girl!

Trent will be sad for a little while...but then HE WILL LOVE ME THE MOST AND ONLY!!!!

I've tried to bite The Girl's toes off two mornings in a row, and she keeps waking up and screaming and once she kicked me in the head.

Trent just laughs.

WE'LL SEE WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH GIRL!!!! I'LL KILL YOU LIKE I DID THAT BUG THIS MORNING HAA HA HA HAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Mabel

2008-03-09T12:21:00.000-04:00

Good morning!

It's my birthday! Let's go crazy.

This morning I climbed up on the loft to visit Trent and The Girl, who appears to be quite ill. The Girl said, "Happy birthday Mabel! How's it feel to be two?" and then they both sang happy birthday dear Mabel TO ME (not Petrie). I was so happy I licked The Girl on her eye to say thanks.

Then Pete started to cry from down below and so they sang it to him too. He's two today too, but I am still smarter and better and I always will be.

Mabel

2008-03-03T19:37:00.000-05:00

Hi there.

S'me again. Something gross happened:

The other night I decided to make my move and kiss Trent on the lips while he was sleeping. He ALWAYS sleeps on the left side of the loft, and The Girl sleeps on the right side. Well, THEY SWITCHED SIDES AND I KISSED THE GIRL. It didn't smell like Trent, but I thought nothing of it as the loft smells like both of them, which is why Pete and I like to sleep there when Trent and The Girl (mostly Trent) are gone. The Girl did not like me kissing her, and I didn't like it either. She woke up so fast and made a loud noise. I was embarrassed, and I ran away.

In other news, Pete has been obsessed with trying to kill the the water again. The Girl will fill our water bowl, and Pete will say to me, "Look! I can make it move!". He will then push the water bowl across the floor, and eventually the water will spill out and all over the floor making our paws wet and our mouths thirsty. Trent will get mad at Pete, Pete will call him mean guy (mostly because he doesn't know that his name is Trent), and The Girl will call Pete cute. I will just be thirsty.

I am working on a new project, my biggest yet: The entire couch.

I warmed up with the speaker mesh on the bottom of the organ. It belongs to Trent, but it had to be done.

Until next time,

Mabel

2008-02-28T09:58:00.000-05:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

In the mornings, I visit my friend Orange Friend. My friend Orange Friend is my best friend. He lives next door, and his Person lets him in early in the morning when Orange Friend scratches on the door. But before my friend Orange Friend can go inside, he comes to visit me. Usually Smelling Good will tell me when my best friend Orange Friend is here. She will stand by the portal to the outside in the kitchen and say, "Hey Pete! It's that filthy orange alley cat you are in love with!" And I will say, "MY BEST FRIEND ORANGE FRIEND IS MY BEST FRIEND AND HE HAS COME AGAIN TO VISIT WITH ME!!!" And I will jump up on the ledge thingy of the portal and speak to my friend Orange Friend. "Hi Orange Friend! How are you today? I want to have you!" Orange Friend will open his mouth, but you can only see through the portal, there is no sound out there. So I don't know what Orange Friend ever says to me. "I want you Orange Friend! You are my best friend Orange Friend and I want to have you!" That is what I say to my friend Orange Friend. My friend Orange Friend is my best friend.

Love,

Petrie

2008-02-16T19:31:00.000-05:00

The first picture is me, the second picture is brother Pete in the background and me SITTING IN TRENT'S LAP (take THAT Girl), and the last one is brother Petrie.

I am mostly just playing springs in the mornings and playing in the box with Pete these days. I was finding it was taking me longer to eat my dinner and breakfast for a little while for some reason, but I am finding it better now.

Time to go visit Trent now, and maybe sit on him.

Love, I guess,

Mabel

2008-02-09T11:41:00.000-05:00

2008-02-09T11:35:00.000-05:00

My favourite song by Antsy Pants

2008-01-28T09:07:00.000-05:00

These are the words:

I am a vampire I AM A VAMPIRE I am a vampire I AM A VAMPIRE!!!!
I have lost my fangs.

I am a vampire I AM A VAMPIRE I am a vampire I AM A VAMPIRE!!!!
I have lost my fangs.
So I am sad and I feel lonely
So I cry and I am very angry
And I eat some garlic
So I'm no more satanic, yeah yeah

I am a vampire and I'm lurking in the city
But the pretty boys don't look at me
Cause I have lost my mouth organ
I have lost my mouth organ

So I eat popcorn and I put on weight
And I sing but my voice is breaking
And I want to play the guitar
But my guitar is out of tune

I am a vampire and I'm lurking in the city
But the pretty boys don't look at me
Cause I have lost my mouth organ
Yes I have lost my mouth organ

xo
Mabel

2008-01-11T22:39:00.000-05:00

kjhgjhgjkgjhjhg

2007-12-24T16:33:00.000-05:00

Hi guys, I'm back. It's me, Mabel!

I got tricked - AGAIN. I swore to myself I would not go back in THE CAGE (or even NEAR THE CAGE) ever again but the other morning The Girl and Trent tricked me by putting my stuffed snake in it. I love my snake friend and I love to drag him around the house and scare Petrie (Petrie thinks my friend is alive, he's so dumb!)and I thought they were going to take the snake away in the cage so I tried to rescue him. But as soon as I stuck my leg in to try to get him out, Trent shoved me in and closed the door!

NOOOO TRENT!

Then The Girl and I went through it all again, just like last time, except this time The Girl FORGOT ME AT THE PLACE. They tourtured me there, just like 2 summers ago, and then I went to sleep. When I woke up I was a mountain lion!!!! And my mouth hurt a little but whatever I was fierce!

The Girl showed up and the terrorists opened the door of my cage to get me out.

I WILL RIP YOUR ARMS OFF IF YOU TOUCH ME AND I WOULD LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY IT.

That is what I said. To The Girl too.

Then I was back in The Cage with my friend the snake.

To be continued...

Mabel
xoxo
Merry Christmas!

2007-12-18T17:46:00.000-05:00

OMG YOU GUYS YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED HERE. This is Pete, by the way, and my sister Mabel came back home in the cage with the snake and THE SNAKE ATE MABEL'S BRAINS OUT. She is going crazy and she can't even walk and she is trying to kill me like the snake did. THE SNAKE TAUGHT HER HOW TO ATTACK me. She is making all kinds of growling noises and telling me to get the f___ out of her way or she will eat my legs off. YOU GUYS HELP ME.

Love,

Petrie

2007-12-17T23:38:00.000-05:00

I AM PETRIE.

Okay so this is what happened: The snake went into THE CAGE and Mabel went into THE CAGE and now they have disappeared. THE SNAKE ATE MY SISTER. I AM AFRAID. But not really, because at least they're gone now.

BALL.

PETE.

i love you.

2007-12-16T22:44:00.000-05:00

Hi there! This is Petrie!!!!!! Don't tell Mabel I'm posting on here!

A snake tried to kill me and attack me!!!!! It jumped at me and almost killed me! I had to protect myself from it by running away! It happened in the kitchen!!

I was scared for 2 days and I am still scared and I am not coming out of my room. Even for food. Nope.

OKAY BYE I LOVE YOU AND EVERYONE PETE

2007-12-11T19:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so next we got called into THE ROOM with THE TABLE and THE MAN.

The Girl (the mean Mean MEAN Girl who tricked me) opened the door of THE CAGE and tried to take me out. I hung on for my life. Then THE MAN turned THE CAGE on a different angle and told me not to defy gravity and before I knew what was happening I was on THE TABLE with my shitty yellow spring.

THE MAN pried my mouth open, and exchanged words with The Girl.

HOLD ME GIRL! I said! I climbed into the girl's arms while THE MAN dissapeared.

When he came back, the girl put me down again. NO GIRL! NOOOOOO!!!

THE MAN pried my mouth open again, and put something down my throat and made me swallow it.

I'VE HAD ENOUGH! LET ME BACK IN THE CAGE AT ONCE!!!!

So they did!

There was much more talking, but I didn't care because I was back in the cage that I love so much that smells just like my brother Petrie and me.

Then, before I knew it, I was back outside and back on the bus and back in my house and I was so happy!!! Even though my brother hissed at me because I probably smell like THE PLACE and THE TABLE and THE MAN, and even though I "have to go back on friday to have surgery to pull out two of my teeth and be on antibiotics for two weeks", and even though "I am only a year and a half old but my body sometimes just attacks itself and I will have re-occuring gum problems forever"!!! I am home and I want to break some stuff!!

Mabel XOXOXOX

2007-12-11T19:05:00.000-05:00

A glass picture frame!!! YESSSSS!!!!!!

On another note, today The Girl took me on a trip. Trent brought THE CAGE out of the kitchen closet this morning and I just KNEW I was in for it. "I will not go in THE CAGE!" I proclaimed. The Girl did not respond, and after breakfast everything seemed normal. We played a game of springs, as we do every morning, and Petrie (as usual) got confused and started to cry about how he lost his ball and all that yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah. Anyway, then The Girl changed the game and threw my favourite yellow spring backwards and into THE CAGE. OH MAN, I thought. I am NOT falling for this, but I really want my yellow spring. The yellow ones are the BEST. Maybe I'll just walk into THE CAGE slowly and grab it...HEY GIRL!!! OPEN THE DOOR YOU MOTHERF

And then I was floating in the air and we were outside and I got to talk to Lola the dog and go on the bus and everyone loves me because aren't I just the cutest and all that but I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE TAKING ME GIRL AND I DON'T LIKE IT. And I don't give a shit about my stupid yellow spring, which is how I got into this mess in the first place.

Anyway, then we were at THE PLACE and it stank like a thousand hamsters.

2007-11-16T09:54:00.000-05:00

At long last! The glass canister containing many spices such as "italian" and "chili"! You could never have defeated me, glass canister! How dare you defy me the other day! SHARDS OF YOU EVERYWHERE!!! And the best part? I blamed it on my brother! HA HA HA !!!

MABEL

2007-11-14T14:51:00.001-05:00

1. An art project containing small scraps of carefully cut out paper, early this morning, AND I had to take the lid off of the tupperware that contained them!!!! YES!!!

2. All of the girl's underware, hanging to dry neatly on the bed post!!!!!

YES!!!!!!

Stay tuned.

Mabel

2007-11-13T22:35:00.000-05:00

I have failed: In the morning I pushed a glass canister into a sink full of clean dishes and it did NOT break the mug I had intended to break. Sigh...

While I did this, Petrie (my brother) got in the cupboard and knocked the almond butter to the floor. YES!!!

Mabel

2007-11-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

Things I recently destroyed:

1. A ceramic dish that (once) held sand from the Sahara Desert. I put the sand down the kitchen sink.

2. The plumbing.

3. A steel wool scrubbing pad.

4. Possibly my intestines.

What should I destroy next? I am open to suggestions. Anyone?

xoxo Mabel

2007-11-08T11:16:00.000-05:00

I know it's late, but tonight I just HAD to kill...A GLASS!! It was the last one in the set and I am glad to have finished that project off. I didn't eat it though. You shouldn't eat glass. Then I threw some small change on the floor from the top of the book shelf, and ripped up some wax paper that was in the recycling box.

When the girl person came home I was there to greet her. "Hello Girl!" I said. "I love the way you smell and I'm glad you're home because Petrie just sleeps all night!" The girl asked me to show her my work, and I did. "Not bad...", she said. "That glass may be some of your best work yet."

I love the girl but she must die!

Mabel

2007-11-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

Okay okay...it's been me all along.

Mew.

2007-11-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

my blog My Blog MY BLOG!!!! This is MY blog now, bitches.

I love the girl and Trent.

Mabel

MABEL

2007-10-13T13:21:00.000-04:00

The other night I got locked in the closet on purpose by me! Yay! This is Petrie.

HELLO!!!!!

Smelling Good (my Mommy's name is Smelling Good) got out of her high bed the other night and went to the room where I poop and then opened the closet door to throw something in the garbage bucket smelly fun thing. I snuck in between her feet and she didn't even know!!!! Then she shut the door and it was too dark to really see but I could smell very very well. Better than normal. I was hiding and no one could find me!!! Not even my sister Mabel!! I am so sneaky and smart! AnywayS, the garbage bucket fun strong smelling thing was really what I was after, so I mostly dug through that and had a few snacks. This went on for awhile when the door opened and the light came in and THE MEAN GUY hauled me out and away from my snacks and the smell!

Love,
Pete

2007-10-04T15:21:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!!!!!

So we have new food. My Mommy gave it to us last night. It is much better than that other stuff. This morning she gave it to me again!!! Mabel (my sister) tried to eat some!!! I said, GRRRRRRRRRR NO MABEL BACK OFF! THIS IS ALL MINE! I AM NORTH AMERICA AND YOU ARE A SMALL AFRICAN NATION, MAYBE THE SUDAN. I HAVE ENOUGH TO SUSTAIN MYSELF BUT I WANT YOURS TOO AND I'M GONNA TAKE IT!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Mabel said, "Okay!"

The next thing I knew, My Mommy (Smelling Good) picked me up and although I tried to hold onto THE FOOD with my mouth I lost it and she threw me in the bathroom and closed the door!!!! I WANT ALL THE FOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywayssss, sometimes the people will throw the ball at me. They don't get it...it goes under the stove. So I have to put it there when they give it to me.

I'm gonna go try open the fridge now.

Love,

Petrie

2007-09-26T11:18:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

Okay some things have happened. I have a new friend. His name is Orange Friend and he is much older than me, I am just young. I am 1 year and 7 months old. Orange Friend is much older. He comes to visit me and I get scared. But I like him. He's my friend!!

The other day I fell off the EXTREMELY HIGH bed. It hurt me, but not too bad because I am a cat and I have learned how to land on my feet when I fall. Although, I might not have landed on my feet that time, but I don't remember. It was a few days ago.

I don't like the game where I play with my balls anymore. My mummy will throw my ball across the room and I will chase it and then I won't chase it and I really just am bored and would like to go to sleep or maybe eat because that is my favourite thing.

I am alone right now!!! Where is everybody!!!! HEEELLLP!!!

Love,
Pete

2007-08-27T21:51:00.000-04:00

2007-08-27T21:16:00.000-04:00

Hi. This is Pete.

Okay. So I'm pretty much just sleeping these days. And spilling my water all over the floor. On purpose. That's right. ON. PURPOSE. Sometimes I lick my arse. Sometimes I lick Mabel's arse. I fell off some furniture the other day. Woo. People want to pat me and it sometimes sucks because I want them to LEAVE ME ALONE so I can sleep. Smelling Good says I don't love her anymore. I just wish she would shut it and bring on the food when I ask. That's right. WHEN. I. ASK. She has come up with this "theory" (whatever THAT word means, I don't know) that now that I'm a year and a half old I think I'm a god or something. Ummm, SHE'S RIGHT.

Smell ya later,
Pete

2007-08-17T13:07:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

So much has happened. My world went away and I have been given another one to rule over. It doesn't smell the same or even look the same, but my sister Mabel is here, and so is Smelling Good (my Mum) and that other dude. There are clear places in the walls here, just like that other place, where I can look out and see birds. There is a place where Smelling Good (my Mum) and that other dude go and stand and there is water on them. There is a thing that they sit on for a few minutes and then they press a button and it makes a water noise. There is a counter that I am STILL not allowed to jump on. I think the ground has risen.

I made a few friends. One lady comes by and calls me handsome, because I AM HANDSOME. And cute. There are other cats around here, but I am still the King. One cat is big, like me, I'm big (AND HANDSOME), and one is really shaggy and they don't really smell like anything.

Another thing is that Smelling Good (my MOTHER) and that other dude have messed something up somewhere and they put their bed that they sleep on on the ceiling.

love,
pete
(I actually typed that last part)

2007-07-24T10:47:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

Smelling Good left this morning to go catch birds. As she was leaving I thought maybe I could get out in the hallway to eat the plant. Smelling Good thought I was sad because she was leaving. Not true! Okay, maybe a little. Mostly though, that plant tastes awesome.

Yesterday I got in trouble. This is what happened: As I was playing with my sister (her name is Mabel) I noticed a poo was sticking halfway out my bum. How did that get there? Oh well! Guess I'll just go lay down with Smelling Good (she was taking a nap because she was tired from catching birds all morning) and take care of this. I curled up next to Smelling Good on her bed. Smelling Good said she loved me. I said, I love you too Smelling Good. And I love sister Mabel and Mean Guy and everyone else who I've ever met. And now I'm just going to lick this turd that's hanging out of my a...SMELLING GOOD WHAT'S WRONG WHY ARE YOU MAKING THAT HIGH PITCHED NOISE??!!!??? SMELLING GOOD! WHERE ARE WE GOING? NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THE BATHROOM AND I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THE BOX WHERE I LEAVE MY POOS! SMELLING GOOD! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!

MUCH later, Smelling Good and Mabel opened the door. "I put my poo in the box Smelling Good. Can we have a nap NOW?" Umm, Pete? You are totally the dirtiest cat I have ever met. Can you at least COVER that thing up? "No way Smelling Good. I want everyone to see it. It's a beauty." Then Mabel covered it up and called me mean names.

Love,
Pete

2007-07-17T14:16:00.000-04:00

Hello.

Ummm...can you hear me?

Okay, good. This is Mabel.

I hacked into Petrie's account. He doesn't realize this is a possibility, but I was the one who set this blog up and showed him how to post and change the colours...my brother's not the sharpest pencil in the box. But anyway he's sleeping on the box right now and asked me not to disturb him and I don't feel like sleeping and I'm kinda bored. AND, I have to tell you something: Pete thinks there is only one ball. Yesterday our girl-person saw that Petrie had pushed one ball behind the fridge. She didn't feel like going through the trouble of pulling the fridge out and retrieving it, so she went to the drawer where she keeps the balls and springs (I've almost figured out how to open it) and got him a new ball. He was so messed up by this he told me he didn't even want to play with the ball anymore. He thinks our girl-person is playing a trick on him. "I know the ball went behind the fridge, how can Smelling Good (he doesn't know her name yet) have it too?" That's honestly what he said to me. Like, I love my brother and all, but what a dumbass. Anyway, I should go.

(p.s. i have a crush on trent...DON'T TELL ANYONE)

xo
Mabel

2007-07-11T10:27:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

This morning I killed a fly and ate it. I immediately washed it down with a long cold drink of water out of my bowl. *Buuuurp*

I'm sleepy.

Pete.

xo

2007-07-05T11:11:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

Okay some things have happened. My sister Mabel and I caught some flies! Mostly me though. Smelling Good and The Man couldn't catch them, and neither could Mabel. I am THE KING!

One fly was in the bathroom. I was standing on the toilet seat when it flew by me. I launched myself into the air and when I came down my back paws slipped on the slippery stupid toilet seat and I fell on my bum and slid down the toilet seat and I landed on my back on the floor next to the toilet. Yayfun!!

That fly got away.

Anyways, I caught it eventually and ate it. It was good! Then I caught some more and I ate them too. Mmmmmmm. Yummy.

Yesterday I was walking on the desk in the living room. I stepped onto some papers that I thought we're the desk, but they were not. They were hanging over the edge of the desk top. Anywayssss, I fell off of the desk again. Actually, I fell off the desk and into the crevace between the side of the desk and the wall. Owieee!!! That gets me every time! I cannot tell when the papers are safe to walk on and when something like this will happen. Please help me! How can I tell?

Mabel laughed at me.

Love,
Pete

2007-06-27T11:34:00.001-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

My new ball is pink and green. Pink and green is better!

So, anyway, to be continued, at this new place, they had this bathtub. It was the first thing I found when they let me out of THE CAGE. Hey guys! Look in here! It's a bathtub! (I said this).

Anyway, everyone laughed at me and Smelling Good said I was "special". YAY!!!! I LOVE YOU SMELLING GOOD! You're special too!!

Then Smelling Good and that other guy left, and Mabel hid under a chair. There were two pretty smelling good ladies that did not leave.

Okay bye!

Love Petrie

2007-06-26T15:38:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

Some things have happened. On the morning of June 16 (it was a Saturday) my Mum (my Mum is Smelling Good) and her dude whose name I do not know got up early. They left. They came back. They went under the high bed. When they came out they had THE CAGE. Mabel does not like THE CAGE. They chased my sister Mabel around and tried to put her in THE CAGE. But Mabel wouldn't go in and so they gave up. THEN THEY TRIED TO PUT ME IN THE CAGE!!!!! SMELLING GOOD!! STOP BEING SO MEAN!!!!!! But I wouldn't go in either. HA HA! Do you guys think I'm stupid? They did not give up however. They TRICKED ME BY PUTTING FOOD IN THE CAGE AND SO I HAD TO GO IN IT. Then they shut the door and THE CAGE was floating beside them and I had my ball with me but I didn't care, and all the food was gone! They put me in this thing that smelled funny and it made me fall all over the place and I was so scared and sad! My sister Mabel was in Smelling Good's arms and she was hiding her face in Smelling Good. OUR LIVES ARE OVER!!!! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!! LET ME OUT OF THIS FREAKING CAGE SMELLING GOOD!!!! I AM SO SO SO SAD!!!!! *sob*

Then we arrived in another place and I was floating beside my people again and they let me out of the cage and I was in a new place with people I have seen before! I have even been to this place before! It smells familiar! And OMG THERE IS A BATHTUB I AM SO EXCITED.

Love,
Petrie

2007-06-13T11:37:00.000-04:00

Hello! Petrie here!

Last night I fought the water while my Mum was brushing her teeth. I showed it who's boss!

Mabel had a meltdown last night. She was wailing like a banshee, and all because she couldn't find her green spring. I said, "It's okay Mabel! S.G. (Mum) and that other dude will get up when it gets light and get you your green spring back! I love you! And I'm confused about that noise you are making... ".

Love, Petrie.

See, the problem is the space between the oven and the counter. Whenever we can't find something it's because it's in there. When I can't find my balls that's where I go to get them back. Sometimes S.G. (she is my Mum) looks and says they are not there. Actually, she says "There's nothing there Pete. Can't you see?" and then she goes and finds the ball under the couch or something and gives it back to me. See!!! I got it back!!! I told you it was between the oven and counter silly Smelling Good Mum! It just turns invisible and then you get it for me under the couch! I am so confused!

Love,
Petrie

2007-06-12T14:04:00.000-04:00

Hi. Pete here.

I am so hot right now, and I am only talking about the temperature.

So. Hot.

Sohot.

I will lie on this sheet in the living room in front of the fan, but I will still be sohot.

Mabel is sohot too, but I am hotter (HA!).

Yesterday I found my good ball (I lost it and only had my not-as-good ball left). The good ball is orange and blue. This is much better than the not-as-good ball, which is pink and green. Orange and blue is better.

Anyway, I gotta go.

Love,
Pete

2007-06-06T13:52:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

On monday I fought the vacuum cleaner. SG took it out of it's cave and put it in the middle of the kitchen floor. She didn't become the vacuum this time, like she usually does. No, this time they remained seperate.

As it was sitting there, threatening me, I decided to show it just who really is The King in these parts. So I marched up to it and gave it my mean right hook (4 times), wap wap wap!! just like that. TAKE THAT VACUUM CLEANER.

I won!

Love,
Petrie

2007-05-31T10:20:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Petrie here! Ball here too! Petrie here! Hi!

Last night something VERY SCARY happened. I was sitting in the kitchen by the bedroom door, and when I looked into the dark bedroom...THERE WAS ANOTHER CAT THERE !!!!! I was SO SCARED! SG thought it was so funny. She went into the dark bedroom and turned on the light and I could then fully see the other cat and all she said to me was, "Pete!" (Who the hell is Pete?) "It's just your sister Mabel!" And I'm like, who the hell is Mabel?? And SG thought that was just hilarious.

So anyway, this other cat kept staring at me and coming up to me and trying to be all friendly with me, so I had to protect myself (and assert myself as The King) by making myself seem bigger than I really am. It's a good trick. I also hissed at it. It didn't really work. I have no idea where this other cat came from. It happened so all of a sudden. SG kept telling me it was my sister Mabel, but I don't know anyone by that name.

Anyway, later on in the evening, my sister Mabel and I played some games and also we licked each other for a couple of hours on the bed.

That's all!

Bye bye!

Love,
Peteball

2007-05-30T16:51:00.000-04:00

Hi there! Ball here!

Guess what? Smelling Good smells good again! Yay!!!!

Okay bye!

Love from Ball

xoxoxoxo

2007-05-29T09:58:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! Petrie here!

I learned some more things this past weekend!

First of all, my name isn't Petrie at all! My name is BALL!

Also, turns out SG is my Mom.

Also, I learned that when I get my ball too close to the stove and the wall I have to jump on top of it so it does not go between them. When it goes between them I have to wait a real long time to get it back (sometimes). Sometimes my Mom is right there and then she asks me where ball is and I tell her and she gets it out for me with the broom.

Also, I have been playing fetch with the ball a lot lately. Yesterday I played this game with my Mom (SG is my Mom) for half an hour.

That's all!

Bye!

Love,
Ball

2007-05-24T14:32:00.000-04:00

Hello! Petrie here!

Let me see...what's new? Well, I lost my Balls and got them back again. They were under the fridge. I have actually had some more major mental breakthroughs:

When SG looks at me and says "Ball!", that means we are going to go and play with The Ball! SG throws it, I go and get it and bring it back to her and she does it again.

But I can only do it twice. That's all.

Yesterday and the day before I visited with the painter. He opened the door and was painting and visiting me and my sister Mabel. This was nice. He kept refering to me as "the cat". WRONG. I am not "the cat". I am THE KING. Duh.

I am little sad because I no longer have my snack in the afternoon. SG and Mean say the snack is for baby kittens, and since I am big (i.e. The King) I no longer require a snack. I'm okay with that, it just sucks for Mabel because I have to eat all of her food at dinner time now. Thems the breaks, yo.

SG and Mean are gone today, but I know they'll be back. They have to go and catch birds like everyone else. Maybe someday I will get to.

Love,
Petrie

2007-05-15T12:09:00.000-04:00

Hello everybody! Petrie here!!

I am AMPED today. I figured out some things:

1. Even though I want the birds, I cannot jump through the window/door/glass of any kind/shape/form/screen to get them.

2. When I jump up really high in the air I should give some thought to the landing. Sometimes I jump too high in small spaces and my bum and head hurt today.

3. I cannot fly.

4. On tuesday mornings, S.G. leaves FOR WORK. AND SHE ALWAYS COMES BACK.

This morning, as she was leaving, I figured this last one out! I raced to the door! Bye Smelling Good! Have a good day! Then, I watched for her out the window because she always goes outside of the window (where the birds are). Bye Smelling Good! Have a good day catching birds! I'll see you when you get home!

Okay BYE!

Love from Pete (I am Pete)

2007-05-01T09:59:00.000-04:00

Hello! Petrie here!

Something exciting happened this past weekend! I got my balls back! SG found them behind the fridge! I have been playing with them all weekend! Mean guy was mean (as usual) and also stupid. He was all, "Ha ha ha! You WISH you found your balls under the fridge Pete!". Well, yeah...I DID wish, MEAN GUY. And now I have them. So I don't know what you're talking about.

Love to everyone in the apartment and world,

Pete.

2007-04-24T17:08:00.000-04:00

Hello! Petrie here! I am still the King!

I'm hot 'cause I'm fly,
You ain't 'cause you not.

Love from Petrie, the King.

Bye.

Love.

Petrie.

Bye.

xoxox

2007-04-17T15:08:00.000-04:00

Hello Servants! I love you! This is Petrie!!!!!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

This past weekend was great. Jamie came over to worship and visit me. Mabel thought maybe Jamie had come to see her too, but she was wrong. Hellooo???

I love SG. She is my mother.

I love Mabel too. Yesterday, Mabel tried to get up on SG's lap. What was she thinking? So I kicked her off and then jumped on top of her to make sure she stayed off.

I recently fell off these things:

-The laundry basket, which was also falling off a chair, so I guess that one's a double.
-The chair

I also miscalculated on my way up on top of the desk...owiee.

That's all.

Love Pete

2007-04-03T16:47:00.000-04:00

I AM PETRIE!!!! I AM THE KING!!!!!

Why did no one tell me this? Well I figured it out on my own!!! Yesterday and the day before and all day on sunday I spent most of my time on a chair in the kitchen working on my posture. I could see my great lion shadow on the wall, and I worked on puffing myself up until I got bigger and bigger and fiercer. I looked huge! Because I am huge! I am KING PETRIE!

Since I am now The King, I rearranged the stuff on the desk to suit my needs. After I cleared it off, stereo and all, I had a better place from which to survey my kingdom.

Mabel thinks I'm "so silly". That's right. That's why I tried to kill her on saturday. She is my servant.

Smelling Good is totally messed. She freaked us out on the weekend by taking her feet off. I have never noticed this before. Then she threw them at us. I was like, what is this shit? You're crazy Smelling Good.

She must submit to me.

Love (for now),

King Petrie.

2007-03-22T12:51:00.000-04:00

Hello servants! Petrie here!

I have changed the colors of my blog. I mean, webmaster Mabel the Grey has changed the colors of my blog upon my demand. Now it matches me. Yes, subjects, my blog is now the color of...meeee.

We got some toys in the mail from that nice lady who squeaks at us like SG. Mabel has pretty much stolen them all from me.

Love,

Petrie

2007-03-20T13:22:00.000-04:00

Hello fans! Petrie here!

Today's subject is about music. Largely, I hate music.

SG and her Mean friend who is here all the time forever and it doesn't look like he's ever going to go away were playing some music last weekend. Mostly, I had to turn it all off. It was that bad. First I turned off something called Sonic Youth, Goo. I mean, it was just rediculous--the loud vicious violent NOISE screaming out of the speakers and all. It made my sister Mabel and I cry.
Next I turned off something called The Arcade Fire, Neon Bible. I was pretty sly about this one. I waited until SG was behind the curtain where the water is, and I knocked the stereo to the ground. No noises will ever be heared from it again, thanks to ME (well, Mabel told me to do it. THERE YOU HAVE IT!).
Next, I, with encouragement and guidance from my sister Mabel (she's so smart!) chewed through the computer speakers wires so that, much like the stereo, no sound will ever be heard from them again. YES!!!

I made SG mad. I hated to do it, but what Mabel says goes. Even if she does stink like one thousand hamsters.

When mean guy came home, he fixed everything!!! SO MEAN.

Love Petrie.

2007-03-16T11:52:00.000-04:00

Hello fans, Petrie here!!

Lets talk about pens. I WANT A PEN. I want one that is in the pen cup on the desk by the computer monitor, and I WANT ONE NOW. I keep telling them; "Get me this pen...at once!", but they won't do it. Instead they make my face all of a sudden wet and cold with that bottle with the water in it, and make fun of me and my "mean right hook". Stupid water bottle. I could take you out with my mean right hook, and one of these days I will. I LOVE the pens and I want one and even if I have to rip the art off the walls with my teeth and claws I will do it until I GET A PEN.

This morning SG was leaving and I was very very sad about this. I decided if SG was leaving, I would leave with her and leave Mabel all alone (because I don't like her today anyway, and I always love SG). I went out in the hall with SG and then she left. Then Mabel started crying on the other side of the door, because she is a pansy, and I was all alone with the plant. Awesome!!! But where is SG? She's still gone! I was confused. Then she came back and put me back in the place with Mabel, and I still don't have a pen and SG is gone and my balls are gone.

Love,
Petrie

2007-03-14T13:44:00.000-04:00

Hi there, Petrie here!

I have had an exciting couple of days! On friday it was me and my sister Mabel's birthday! We are one year old! Yay!!!

Some nice old people came to visit and to pay attention to me (and my sister). The female old person made lots of high pitched noises at me, just like Smelling Good (even though she doesn't smell good anymore I still call her that). She brought me a thing that is flat and lies on the ground and has a part in the middle that is good for destroying and a ball that rolls around the edges of it. Anyway, I don't really know what it's for, and Mabel is a MEAN MEAN MEAN SISTER BECAUSE SHE TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME BEFORE I COULD EVEN SEE IT, really. And she seems to be having fun with it. It is NOT FAIR. So I bit my MEAN SISTER MABEL on the ass, but then she tried to kill me and SHE IS MEAN.

Smelling Good (she doesn't really smell good anymore but I still call her that) cut me and my sister's front claws.

Bye!

Love, Petrie.
xoxoxoxoxoox

2007-03-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

Vote for Petrie!

http://kittenwar.com

Love,

Petrie

2007-03-06T16:34:00.000-05:00

Hi there! Petrie here!!

Well. Mabel tried to write some posts up in this piece, but it's MY BLOG and that means my sister is NOT ALLOWED. NO SISTERS.

So, Smelling Good no longer smells that good...I've lost my facination with hand lotion. She is my girl person/mother and it turns out she has her very own name anyway. I don't know what it is, but I know she has one.

I am alone today and as a result of this I am very very sad. I am crying and crying and crying and I cannot stop. Come back Girl Person/Mother!

Yesterday I licked my sister in the sun for a long time. I love my sister Mabel!

Guess what? On friday it will be my birthday!!!!!!

Love,
Petrie

2007-02-20T16:25:00.000-05:00

Hi there! I AM PETRIE!!!!!

Okay, so lets see...what's new? I got some new toys because I was bored. Surprisingly enough, Mean Guy brought them home. I suspect it's because Smelling Good made him do it. They are little plastic balls with bells in them. I get them lost behind things (stove, desk, the broom) and Smelling Good gets them out for me. And then Mean Person says things like, "Where's your BALLS Pete? I bet they're not behind the stove!" and Smelling Good says that he is being mean, which he is, because he is the Mean Person.

In fact, last night the people were watching a movie and I was playing in my box. Mean Guy ripped it out from under me because I was being LOUD. I was SO SAD! So I curled up on Smelling Good's face and licked her and gave her love and sang a song, and I was happy.

Mabel is doing a lot of complaining lately about the litter box. She wants it to be cleaned every single time she uses it. When Smelling Good cleans it, Mabel watches her to make sure she is doing it correctly. Smelling Good has been doing a good job, so Mabel decided to give her a gift of raisins and bay leaves, under her door.

The end.

Love,
Pete

2007-02-07T13:54:00.000-05:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

Lately my sister Mabel has not been eating her food. The one who smells good said that maybe Mabel does not like her food. That's great, because then I can eat it! But Smelling Good did not think that this was the best solution. So, Smelling Good got Mabel some different food. Mabel loves it so much that when she ate it she made it come back out of her mouth so she could eat it all over again! I wish I could do that trick!

Today we are home alone. I did not want the smelling good one to leave, because I love her so much. I tried to distract her by blocking her way to the door, and trying to prevent her from brushing her teeth.

I will tell you one thing right now: I do not like toothpaste. The Mean Person will not shut up about how my breath smells like ass, and so the other night he gave me something that I thought would be delicious to eat. But it was the thing called toothpaste and it's minty fresh smell would not get out of my mouth! It even went through my nose and I could not make it go away! Oooo Mean Person is SO MEAN.

Anyway, that's all.

Love, Petrie

2007-01-30T11:06:00.000-05:00

Hi there! Petrie here!

I LOVE SMELLING GOOD SO MUCH!!!!! I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!!!! I THINK SHE IS MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday, Mabel played with her poop all day, until Smelling Good (WHO I LOVE) cleaned the litter box. S.G. said she isn't sure if Mabel is really really smart, or really really dumb, but she's pretty sure it's the latter. The vet's pretty sure it's the former. But then S.G. said that when she takes a crap, it stays in the toilet. Then Mean Guy said something about Mabel just attempting to point out that if someone doesn't clean the litter box, she'll have to do it herself. He loves Mabel.

Yesterday S.G. said I am the clumsiest cat in the world. YAY!!!! She said I have been this way ever since I was a baby.

Yesterday I fell off of these things:

The sink, twice.
The chair, three times.
The computer printer, once.
The couch, once.

Love,
Petrie

2007-01-19T12:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, my sister Mabel and I weren't sure if Smelling Good was at home or not. The door to her room was closed, and we couldn't hear anything, but we weren't sure. Mabel called her name a few times, "Smelling Good! Open the door if you're in there!" and I stuck my arms under the door, but if she was there, I couldn't reach her. We wanted to play a fun game.

So Mabel went to the cupboard, opened it up, and got Smelling Good something in the tiny red box that she likes to put in her face. I think they are called raisins. Usually when she puts them in her face, she throws the empty box at us, and that is the game we like to play. Anyway, we wanted to play that game but first Smelling Good had to take the raisins out of the box and put them in her face. So Mabel got the box and I pushed it under the door. Nothing.

Later, when Smelling Good actually came home, she played with us. Yay!

This morning we listened to the mixed Beast Alert, Loitering Heroes debut album. It was soooo good!!!! We went CRAZY! I chewed through two pairs of shoes, a thermal shirt, and a hoodie! And Mabel ate the back off of the Mean Person's chair! Ha ha!

Love,
Petrie

2007-01-18T11:52:00.000-05:00

Good morning!

I am Petrie!

This morning my sister Mabel went crazy. She tried to kill Smelling Good's purse, a toilet paper roll, the garbage can, all the magazines, the couch, and then she tried to kill Smelling Good herself. I was so confused! I threw myself on top of her and licked her head for a long time. That calmed her down. Then I thought I had to pee, but I really didn't.

Smelling Good went behind the door of the bathroom. She was gone! I cried so loud! But then she came out again, but I missed the hand lotion this time.

Smelling Good left. I sat by the door to say goodbye. She gave me pats and I was happy.

Love, from Petrie

2007-01-17T12:27:00.000-05:00

Hello! I'm back again!

I am so happy today! Smelling Good is at home! She is mostly behind the door though, and she is making this noise that is not talking and it is not singing. It's like the barking of a dog. And she has lots and lots of tissues. But other than that she is pretty much normal, and she even used lotion today, and so I was very happy. I just finished licking my toes, and soon I will curl up with my sister Mabel and we will take a nap.

This morning I got to watch birds outside. They are for me and my sister. I really want to catch them and bite them and eat their guts and drink their blood.

Anyway, that's all!

With love from Petrie.

2007-01-16T10:24:00.000-05:00

Well hello...Petrie here. Yeah, so today Smelling Good left me forever again. But she'll be back. And until she comes back I'll just lie here...right here...I'll just lie here. And sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep...........very sleepy today. Yes. I feel very sleepy. Today...

2007-01-15T08:51:00.000-05:00

Hello! Petrie here! Just reporting back for all who asked how our first job assignment went. We scared the mouse so badly that he/she didn't even leave the safety of the radiator. So we made the mouse go away, but it was not ideal. We wanted to make the mouse REALLY "go away" (in a blaze of blood, guts, and glory) but there was really no way to get into the rad. I mean, I tried to pull it off the wall, but it didn't work.

Some exciting things that happened this weekend: LtK came over to pay attention to me! I love her so much! I gave her lots of kitten love. Mabel ate her own crap again, and got in trouble like this: disgustingcat!! I don't know what's she's thinking when she does that. She didn't want me to tell you.

I made up a dance I can do with my pencil.

Smelling Good tried to suck me up in the vacuum cleaner. I still love her, though.

Anyway, that's all!

Petrie

2007-01-12T10:05:00.000-05:00

Hi there! Petrie here, with my sister Mabel, on our very first job assignment! We were just eating food off the counter this morning because (once again) Smelling Good was forgetful, when we got called in to work. The mouse is hiding in the radiator. Mabel's got the potential escape route under control, and I'm trying to scare it out of hiding. You know, terrorize it, make it run into her clutch of death. Then the fun begins: the plan is that Mabel will catch it and bite it's guts open. Good times! Anyway, gotta get back to it.

Love,

Petrie

2007-01-11T16:19:00.000-05:00

Doo dee doo...HI!

Today, this morning, was a happy day! Smelling Good was here! She came home when it was dark and said she almost went deaf from her job, and then went behind the door. And she's still here!
This morning she made yummy smelling things to put in her face (she keeps forgetting about me during these episodes). When she was gone my sister Mabel and I got some for ourselves, but she came back so quickly! We got in trouble like this: badkitten!. I don't like that. But if only she would R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R we wouldn't have to do it...anyway, I love her! She lets me lick her hands. The Mean Person freaks out when I try to lick him. He yells something at me about getting my vile asstongue away from him...I don't know what that means, but he doesn't really taste all that good anyway.

This afternoon my sister Mabel was sleeping and I was bored. I didn't want to sleep.

Anyway, now I'm going to sleep.

So that's all.

Petrie

2007-01-10T10:19:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired this morning! Mabel would NOT STOP CRYING last night. The people go behind the door when it gets dark, and try as I might I can never pull them out. Does Mabel not realize this? And anyway, it's not that bad with the sound on and all. So I just tried to sleep on MY orange suitcase, and eventually she stopped crying. But before she stopped, Smelling Good had to come out from behind the door and pick up Mabel and give her pats. But Mabel is not interested in getting pats from Smelling Good. Or even licking her. I do not understand this, because Smelling Good also TASTES SOOOOO GOOD. But anyway, Mabel likes the Mean Person who locks me in the fun room where the hand lotion is, only the hand lotion doesn't work when I'm in there alone and so the room isn't very fun.

I'm sleepy now.

This morning, Smelling Good went behind the plastic sheet where the water is (yay!) and I wanted her to get out, so I made Mabel turn on the water in the kitchen so that the water behind the plastic sheet would run out, and it did, and she got out! And then it was time for hand lotion!

Anyway, that's all.

Pete

2007-01-09T12:03:00.000-05:00

This morning, my sister Mabel killed a raisin. She tore that f87**er limb from limb! We didn't care too much about eating it, because the challenge was over and it really didn't taste too good anyway.
ANYWAY, after Mabel killed the raisin I looked up and the one who tastes good was wearing her black coat and boots and headed straight for the door! Nooooooooo! Don't leave me forever again, smelling good person!! I tried to block the door, and I tried to trip her, but she dodged me and made it through the door. And now I am SO SAD because I love her and she is gone forever!

Anyway, that's all.

Petrie

2007-01-09T07:49:00.000-05:00

This is a recent picture of me (the brown tabby on the left) and my sister Mabel (the grey tabby on the right). I love her!

2007-01-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

Hello! Petrie here. Not much to report for this past weekend. I've currently got a couple of pens on the go. Oh! One of them just went under the rug, My sister just got it out, and it went underneath again. She's PISSED. Oh well.
I've been sleeping on this large orange suitcase for the past three days. My sister was sleeping on it on Saturday afternoon, she must not have known it was for me to sleep on. Anyway, I kicked her off. And then I got up. And then I came back and she was on it again! She still doesn't know! So I tried to kick her off, but, umm...yeah...didn't work so well. Then I realized how much I love my sister and then I just couldn't stop licking her. I let her sleep on it with me. I love her! I love everyone!
The people brought home a box. It's big.
Last night they ate the INCREDIBLE smelling stuff in a can. As usual, they just put it in their faces and didn't remember to give any to me. But then they put the can in the big blue box, and I got it out. Then they got angry and made the can go away.
My sister is seriously freaking out right now. I have to go lick her.

Anyway, that's all.

Love,
Petrie

2007-01-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

She is gone forever again!! The one who tastes good is gone!! Now it's just me and my sister.

This morning the tasting good person held me in her arms and I was so happy and she tasted so good as I was licking her face. But she had to put me down in order to eat the smelling good things that she will never give me to eat. Instead she puts the smelling good things in her face, and then I lick her because she tastes so good.

Do dee do...

Okay that's all.

2007-01-04T15:06:00.000-05:00

So I've been trying to kill this red pen, but it keeps hiding under the carpet. It's really, REALLY smart. My sister can sometimes get it out, but I sure can't!

Last night the people went behind the door again, until it got bright. I KNOW they're in there. I put both of my arms under the door to try to get them out, but I think maybe they are standing too far away from the door for me to reach. I was so sad that they were gone forever I couldn't stop crying. But then my sister told me to shut the f**k up and the one who tastes good came out from behind the door and put the sound on and it was all good and I decided it was time for games.

Anyway, that's all.